still trying to relax my self despite the problems. i really want to make things right, so since monday i started to put smile on problems and ignore the pain. i believe i can never grow if i will just trap my self in such situation that does not need solution as of this moment. he ask for a time to think then i give it to him. if he needs space, i will give it to him. he really needs time to think for himself. i dont know if he's really thinking. (ehehehe!). i know i can give the needs of my child without asking for his help. if he wants to help, i'm open to accept it. i'm sick and tired of running after him and all of a sudden i just failed. if he will always leave me i don't know what will gonna happen. i strongly believe i can surpasss all of these. god bless me.

despite the battle in this shit relationship, i stil find happiness with my baby. i may not be bless of having a happy ending love story...i'm very and super blessed of having XHAN. cute cute niya. napakabibo pa. i wish i could give him father who will comfort and give his needs. he is such an angel. he gives joy when everybody's crying. one time, he saw me crying while playing with him. i was shocked when he approached me and wipe my tears and he smile. grabe! sobrang na relieve ako that time. he made me feel that he loves me. i'm very thankful i have XHAN.

yehey...i start to practise adobe...medyo napag iwanan na ako...atleast nakakahabol pa naman...ehehe...

don't judge...first time ko pa lang...ehehe...

I started to loose hope. I really want to fix this but the more I try the more conflicts. Nakakinis bakit si rhea pa. bkit ang I assumed my friend which I think she knows how I feel bout Russell. Di man siya nahiya. After the friendship I shared with her ganito lang gagawin 'nya. I really want to talk to her and ask her to return Russell. I want him back. I know its stupid but I’m doing this not just for me but for my baby. Gusto ko na talagang umayos na kami. Eh paano kung ako inaayos ko eh siya ayaw niya?

another day of heartache. trying to fix things. keeping my self attach with somebody who doesn't appreciate my existence. yesterday i was with him. somebody called him and syempre selos ako noh. d naman ako manhid. hoping pa rin ako na maaayos pa 'to.

while going to work, iniisip ko if tama pa ba ang ginagawa kong paghahabol sa kanya. hopeless na talaga ako. i was asking for a sign. then, i went to church, buti nalang nakahabol ako sa homily. i can really relate and it sound like god talk to me. so, naganahan nanaman ako at naliwanagan kaya eto still fighting for this relationship.

happy independence day!

lets celebrate this special day.

namimis ko na mga friends ko. sana nandito sila wala ako maiyakan. at this point of my life undecided ako if i will still fight for this relationship. my friend told me to forget and find another. but i was thinking of my child. but sometimes talagang napapaisip na lang ako if tama pa ba and ginagawa ko. as long as i can solve this i can still find way to make things right.

naiinip ako dito. di ko alam kung mag susurvive ako. hay. ang hirap naman makipagwork. hirap ng walang kakilala. sana makaya ko 'to. wala akong alam gawin. gusto ko na umuwi. what if hanap na lang ako ibang work. hmp. does it sound good? parang nakikipagsapalaran na naman ako nito. oh god sana maging okay na ako dito.

at this point of my life, undecided ako if i will still fight for this relationship. i'm trying to work it out but i think its not enough. he don't even try to help me and change things for us to grow. my friend told me to forget him and find another. but i was thinking of my child. he needs father and i assumed he can find a way to support us. i'm still holding pressure. i really need someone to talk about this. namimis ko na mga friends ko. gusto ko na silang makasama. i hope we can still find time na mag inuman. ehehe. i do love my friends.

mga friendship sana gimmick na tayo. wala ako maiyakan. i need your advice.

NAKAKAINIP SA WORK!